Red Sox 14, Yankees 3
A rough night in the Bronx. The Yankee highlight came early when Giambi homered to give the Yankees a 2-0 lead. From there it went downhill fast. Randy was horrendous, allowing 7 runs (only 2 earned thanks to a couple of errors, but make no mistake -- Randy got shelled. Almost every ball put in play was a rocket).
[Side note, speaking of errors: Everybody get off Melky's back. First, Sheffield is no Roberto Clemente out there, and second, everyone in the ballpark and the annoucers thought Cano had that popup all the way.]
But it's one game. No biggie. Because it's Boston (gasp! organ music swells ominously) everyone needs to make it a big deal. The much more troubling aspect of last night's loss is . . .
Randy goes for MRI
Randy had an MRI today on his shoulder. Apparently this was the team's idea. Joe Torre and Brian Cashman discussed the results of the MRI ealirer today a physician.
Dr. Goniff: As you asked, I administered an MRI to Mr. Johnson and also gave him a complete physical. The results are not necessarily bad, but somewhat surprising.
Torre: What?
Dr. Goniff: Well, Mr, Johnson is in fairly good physical shape for someone his age. . . .
Cashman: Yeah, we know 42 is old for a pitcher.
Dr. Goniff: (surprised) 42? Mr. Johnson is 74 years old, gentlemen.
Torre and Cashman: What the hell?
Dr. Goniff: Yes. That's my best estimate of his age.
Cashman: (on cell phone) Betty, I need you to pull out a copy of Randy's contract immediately. Look at Section 14.b.1 -- "Breach by Fraud."
Dr. Goniff: Anyway, as I was saying . . . he's in pretty good health, but he really should lose some weight, he probably drinks a litle more than is totally healthy, and his knees are in very bad shape.
Cashman: (still on phone) I'm going to fry this fukcer . . . 74 years old. What does it say in there? Can we recover all the money or just a pro-rated portion?
Torre: Wait a second, Doc. Do me a favor. Can you describe "Mr. Johnson" for me?
Dr. Goniff: (thinking) Hmmmmm, yes. Short, pudgy, very short stubbly white hair, mostly bald on top. Somewhat abrasive personality. Didn't seem to know why he was here. Said a tall guy gave him $500 and carfare to Belmont in exchange for coming to see me.
Torre: (reaching into his wallet and pulling out a picture of Don Zimmer) Is this the guy, Doc?
Dr. Goniff: Yes! That's him!
(Cashman hangs up the phone abruptly)
Torre and Cashman (in unison) FUCK!!!!!
(Cashman dials the phone again)
Torre: Ummmm, thanks, Doc. We've gotta go.
Cashman: (on the phone) I don't care where the hell he is! I want him in my office in ten minutes!
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