Finally

The Crystal Ball

Finally, it's time. The silliness in Japan has been concluded. The off-site exhibition games are done. MLB Extra Innings has been ordered. Tonight, the Washington Nationals unveil their new ballpark vs. the Braves. Real baseball tonight. I am so happy I can almost forget that I'll have to listen to Bozo (Joe Morgan) and Balloon-Head (John Miller) for three hours.

And it's time for confident, well-reasoned, fearless predictions. Set them out there like stately Titanics and hope they dodge all those icebergs. Hope and gullibility spring eternal at this time of year. Here we go:

AL East: The idiots on ESPN are gushing over how much better Toronto and Tampa are going to be this season . . . ummmm, no. It's Boston and New York. It's close, but I'll give Boston (the New Evil Empire) the division. Can Baltimore win 65 games this year? Congress wants to investigate something, they should look into Peter Angelos' destruction of a once-great franchise.

AL Central: There's reasons to devalue the chances of every team in this division. I honestly think everyone but KC has a shot here. An awful lot went right for Cleveland last year. Detroit should score a ton of runs, but you never know for sure. Plus their bullpen is putrid/hurt and they have questions in the rotation. The White Sox can't hit as poorly as last year (probably). The Twins are going to be OK without Santana. Cleveland I guess wins it.

AL West: The Mariners are the off-season darlings, having added Bedard. Well, not so fast. Can anyone really know what Felix Hernandez will do this year? Will they really have a better offense? The Angels looked odds-on before the Escobar and Lackey injuries. Texas and Oakland look to be pretty horrible. Angels win.

AL Wild Card: Your New York Yankees. I actually kind of like the team going in. My gut feeling is that the two kids will pitch well enough, the bullpen might actually be a plus for the first time in years, and the offense should be fine, provided Jumpin' Jacks Girardi doesn't go nuts with the bunting and "small ball" (ewwwwwwwww). Assuming Wang has a more or less typical year, a lot is riding on the health/effectiveness of Mussina and Pettitte. I think it will work out OK.

NL East: Mets potentially have an offense composed of three extremely good players and a bunch of nothing around them, particularly if Delgado isn't effective and Alou is hurt (gasp! what? he's hurt already?) Everyone seems to be assuming that Pedro is going to just slide right back into dominant form after basically not pitching for two years. Ummm, yeah. Mike Pelfry or 71-year-old El Duque in the rotation. 'Nuff said. Two bad teams in the division, but two good ones too. Atlanta, Philly, and the Mets fighting it out. Braves.

NL Central: I must love baseball if I'm even covering this division. Cubs in a more or less putrid field. Brewers will challenge them, some.

NL West: They say four teams have a shot here. That's another way of saying no one team is that good. Arizona is the chalk pick. I have a feeling they won't win it. Colorado won't -- last year was not a year, but a great streak at the right time. Joe "The Fire Eater" Torre doesn't help LA quite enough. San Diego wins.

NL Wild Card: Phillies.

ALCS: Yankees over Boston.
NLCS: Braves over Cubs.
World Series: Yankees over Braves. Same as it ever was.

Past performance is no guarantee of future results. Thankfully.

Play Ball!!!!!!!